GCC and the Ladies Tea

Last night after work I raced to church to attend the Ladies Tea and Fellowship.  It’s a monthly meeting for the women of Grace Community Church and, in many ways, it resembles the typical Ladies fellowships that are taking place in churches all over the country.  The fellowship hall is transformed from its usual utilitarian state on Sunday mornings to a bright and colorful display of flowers, doilies, and other feminine touches.  Delicate tea cups with pretty napkins tucked under the saucers and trays with an array of scrumptious cookies and brownies fill tables around the room.  From the looks of things and from seeing the cheery smiles on all the women as they chat before the speaker begins, you would expect the Ladies Tea to be a night of light and relaxing listening – an effervescent pick-me-up to start your week.

But if you think that you have never been to a Ladies Tea at Grace Community Church.  These teas are no bouncy, skipping through the Scriptures fare.  GCC Ladies Teas pack a spiritual wallop.  Last night’s was no exception.

The speaker this time was the pastor’s wife and her disarmingly merry face and soft voice did not prepare me for the heart-skewering lesson she delivered that night.  The talk was on 1 Peter 3:1-6.  Having heard talks on this passage before, I thought I knew where she would go with it.  There would, no doubt, be the standard advice to us women to be quiet, sweet, kind, pleasant to all, “sugar and spice and everything nice”.  Then there would be the obligatory statement that though Peter says we should not adorn ourselves externally this did not mean that it was a sin to put on makeup or dress fashionably.  I thought I had her talk all figured out before I arrived.  But Pastor’s wife did something radical.  She expounded on this passage explaining how it fit into the context of the entire book of 1 Peter.  By doing so, she revealed to us that these well-known verses in 1 Peter 3 are way more than instructions on how to be attractive and how to get along with your grouchy husband.  There was much richer, deeper meaning here that God wanted us to know.

Christianity and Suffering

The book of 1 Peter is about glorifying God, displaying Christ, and being a living testimony of the gospel in the face of intense suffering.  Yes......there is suffering in Christianity.  You won’t hear that on the Trinity Broadcasting Network or read that in any of Joel Osteen’s bestsellers.  And when you consider the backdrop of 1 Peter, that the saints addressed here were being killed and burned alive because of the intense persecution leveled by a malicious Emperor Nero, the seriousness of God’s commands to us hits hard.  God may allow horrible suffering to come upon us – in the form of unregenerate husbands, wicked bosses and leaders, or painful circumstances – and our response as Christians should not be to complain loudly, fight tenaciously to get out of such suffering, or blame God, but to respond with “a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious” (1 Peter 3:4).

But why are we to respond this way?  Are Christians supposed to be weak doormats, laying down to ill treatment to appear sweet and gentle?  Hardly.  The pastor’s wife corrected our thinking on this.  It takes a tremendous amount of strength to bear up under hardship and undeserved suffering.  She pointed to several scriptures showing us why we do this:  1 Peter 3:5 says that a woman who has her hope in God can graciously submit even to a difficult and disobedient husband; a worker can be respectful to a cruel taskmaster by being “mindful of God” (1 Peter 2:19); Christians can subject themselves to “every human institution”, even a corrupt government because it is “the will of God” (1 Peter 2:13-15).  Ultimately, we are commanded to live this way because we know who we are and why God saved us.  We “are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9).

Suffering and Me

I don’t know about you, but I’m not a big fan of suffering.  Oh, I can suffer little pains and inconveniences easily enough.  Stubbing my toe or pricking a finger is no problem for me.  I can endure that with quietness and gentleness, singing God’s praises as its happening.  I suspect that I could even praise God in the face of major suffering as long as it was really quick.  Like getting my head blown off in the streets of Pakistan for handing out Christian tracts.  Sure, that would be extremely painful, but the pain would be over in seconds.  And there would be the added benefit of being seen as a martyr and having everyone think fondly of me with bittersweet tears in their eyes, “Oh, that holy Janice!  She got her head blown off passing out tracts in Pakistan.  She’s with the Lord now, bless her heart!”

It’s the long, drawn-out, daily, abiding, enduring, persevering, quietly accepting, praising the Lord through the pain, being cheerful in the face of disappointments, is-God-gonna-change-this-no-maybe-he-won’t kind of suffering that I don’t like one bit.  And while listening to the pastor’s wife’s excellent talk last night, I was shocked that deep down I still often hold to the popular, TV-version of Christianity in my heart.  The belief that God loves me and therefore he’ll make everything better.  He won’t let me suffer.  He’ll make my dreams come true.  He’ll bring me that handsome husband!  He'll make my life happy and comfortable.

But this 1 Peter lesson called me on that.  God may very well let me suffer under hardship; he may allow my life to be uncomfortable, painful even, for his glory and for my ultimate good.  Have you ever been in church and felt like God was putting a spotlight directly on you?  That everything that was being said from the pulpit was pointed directly at you?  That your sins and ungodly thoughts were being exposed by his Word for all to see?  I had that experience at the Ladies Tea last night.  “Surely…”, I thought, “….surely this passage doesn’t mean that I must submit to anything God wants in my life.  Surely he won’t force me to remain single and command me to bear up under it and glorify him through it, will he?  It must not mean that, does it?”

It was just about that time that the pastor’s wife said, “Here’s a quote from John Piper. ‘Hope in God and fear no man.  Don’t put your hope in your husband….don’t put your hope in getting a husband, put your hope in God.'”

BAM!

Well, that answers that question.

That talk last night was a kidney punch.  Not what I expected but just what the Holy Spirit wanted me to hear.  After it was over, I didn’t feel like the usual happy kibitzing with the Christian sisters like I normally do.  After exchanging a few good-byes, I stumbled numbly to the parking lot and drove home, the lessons of that night weighing heavily on my mind.  Christianity is not the easy, happy-go-lucky, God-has-a-wonderful-plan-for-your-life journey that it is often billed as in our sinful world.  It’s much deeper than that.  It is complete submission to God and his agenda – for his glory, for his gospel, for the world and the principalities in heaven to see.  We are his workmanship to do his good works (Eph 2:10).  Most churches will not point that out.  But Grace Community Church will not let you forget it.   Not even at a Ladies Tea.